It's seems that I spend my entire life balanced on a see-saw. Some days I'm in the middle and life is good, other days I'm stuck on one end (life is great) or the far opposite (life is a constent struggle). I have these great moments of clarity and I know what I want, how to get it and everything is right in the world then then it's gone and other shoe drops (it seems like it always drops) and it's a struggle just to get the smallest thing done.

I just finished a great book called "Driven to Distraction" and it read like my personal diary. Unfortunately most of what I read has escaped my memory but I do have this impression that I'm ADD (my childhood definitely bears this out). I've finally stop putting getting diagnosed off and have started to contact doctors about being evaluated. That in it's self is somewhat liberating though I still have some issues with handling the stigma of explaining why the way I am to my boss and co-workers.

On the way to work I had this whole great analogy playing in my mind on what I was going to write on this blog, it was great, very visual, etc. and by the time I actually set down to write it, I couldn't. The image is still there but now I can't seem to get it out into words.

I hope that by seeing a doctor and working through this I will find that the light at the end of the tunnel is not a train but the path to actually enjoying life and the ability to make my dreams come true and not another disappointment, those I have had too many of....

Joe